I am very privileged to be a member of Wheatlands Golf Club and I’d like to take you on a tour of this idyllic “pocket-sized” par-3 golf course set in the heart of the Island. 

Let’s imagine a perfectly still Autumnal morning.  The mist is still lingering in the valley below and the sunlight is glistening in the dew on the fairways (but not on the immaculately-prepared greens which have already been swept clear in preparation for the early-rising golfers).

The first hole (named Proctor’s Pitch - all the holes are named, a few after local golfing celebrities and others to describe the surrounds)  runs uphill and parallel to the entrance drive and we need to avoid pulling the tee-shot out-of-bounds into the hedge bordering it.  Best to aim a little right where it’s safer.  The good-sized green, 141 yards from the tee, is not visible from there, so if you have been really thoughtful you will have noted the pin position as you drove your vehicle down the entrance drive!  (A rather quirky local rule allows relief from all bushes and trees on the course in order to promote their growth and welfare.  There is a wide variety of shrubs and trees which greatly enhances the stunning beauty of the course, now that they are beginning to mature).

Our next hole, Chestnut Reach, runs away downhill to the right and is the shortest hole on the course (126 yards).  Again, the green is invisible from the tee and it’s important to land the tee-shot maybe just short of the green as the slope will cause the ball to bound forward to the back if you carry to the green itself.  This laterally wide but longitudinally narrow green is very challenging as the ball will speed past the hole if you over-hit an approach putt from above the hole.  Similarly, a vicious  east/west “borrow” exists across the whole putting surface.

As you leave the 2nd green cast a glance down the hill to the 179 yard 3rd (Squirrel Corner) in order to ascertain the pin position as, again, it is not possible to view it from the tee.  This is positioned high above the green with a wood (Out of Bounds) to the left to trap the pull.  A safe option is to aim slightly right so that the natural lie of the fairway will take the ball onto the green if you are short.  Aim straight and it’s possible you’ll encounter the first sand trap! Overhit the tee-shot and you could run down the steep bank to the rear of the green.  Now you’re down the hill and on the flat-ish and good-sized putting surface.  It is not quite as level as it looks, however, and great care with the putting is needed as there is a gentle slope from about “eight o’clock to two o’clock.”

On, down the path to the tranquility of the tee to the 4th (“Wishing Well,” 195 yards). This is possibly the most difficult hole on the course (reflected by it’s stroke index of 1!)  Drive off this tee between a wooded area to the left and an ancient oak to the right, a narrow corridor leaving little room for error! (How many times has this gnarled old tree been struck by a wayward shot, I wonder?) Other hazards to trap the unwary include (highly productive!) fruit trees and a grand old sweet chestnut tree.  As if these obstructions weren’t enough, there is the first of the ponds situated to the right of the green which, again is hidden from view as you address the ball on the tee.  A bunker lies hidden away to the left short of the green.  The final test is the two-tiered nature of this picturesque green, especially when the pin is positioned on the top level!  The mallards may be there on the pond to applaud your efforts and you may be able to catch sight of some of the fish population swimming above the many sunken golf balls!

A short stroll heading towards the sun as it continues to climb into a cloudless sky - yes, it’s always great golfing weather in Jersey! - will take us to the 162- yard 5th (Doddy’s View).  We often have to ponder club selection here as the prevailing wind is “in your face!”  Personally, I have used a variety of clubs ranging from a fairway wood to a six-iron at this testing little hole.  With a pond and trees to the left, a fairway which slopes dramatically left to right and a bunker centre-right guarding the green it might be advisable to aim just to the left of the edge of the putting surface.  This, again, is not visible from the tee and the wise golfer will have noted the pin position on leaving the fourth green.

Leaving the 5th we head downwards to the right and onto the tee of Kestrel’s Perch (174 yards), aptly named, as the whole of the fairway and green is spread before you down in one of Jersey’s most beautiful wooded valleys, St. Peter’s Valley.  The drop must be all of 100 feet and the unwary may be tricked into believing that the hole is shorter than it really is.  Trouble in the form of an out-of-bounds wood to the right and a pine tree plantation to the left calls for accurate shooting.  If you strike too long there is a steeply-descending bank to the rear and right side of the green.  As this tricky green slopes steeply from “east to west,” I find a shot to the left of the green is likely to be more successful and, of course, it is desirable to be below the hole for “safer” putting!!

Now, gird your loins for the ascent of the well-named Heartbreak Hill, the 7th!!  But before you tee off you might shoot a glance across to the right of the tee where a feeding box is in place to attract the Valley’s burgeoning population of red squirrels - the only species in Jersey.  They are there regularly enjoying the warm autumn sun in this sheltered dell,  but they move quickly and are very well camouflaged!  This daunting up-hill 170-yard tee-shot needs a brave heart and, probably, one of your “longer” clubs.  Further trouble is to the right (out-of-bounds woods) and a bunker guarding the right side of the green which, yet again, is invisible from the tee.  On reaching this viciously sloping green extreme care with the putting is called for, as even a slight misjudgement could see the ball heading back down the green towards the valley, only coming to rest, if you’re lucky, on the fringe!  I suppose that I could count the number of times I’ve reached the green from the tee at this hole on the fingers of one hand in the several years I’ve played here - but that’s probably because I need more lessons!  I’m sure you will have more success.

Hangman’s Hollow, the impressive 183-yard 8th, is a short walk to the left.  Standing on the tee you are faced with a deep hollow with a fairway sloping downwards from right to left.  A large, lone tree by the shorter tee for this hole can catch a sliced drive and any sort of a pull will result in the penalty incurred for trespassing out-of-bounds in the woods to the left.  Aiming a little right of the green is a good strategy here as the lie of the land will carry the ball on to the putting surface which slopes away and downwards from the front to the back.  Again, it’s hard to tell exactly where the pin is positioned from the tee. 

The 9th tee for Ron’s Trap (191 yards) nestles in a sheltered corner close to Les Grupieaux, the “green” lane (15 mph speed limit) which runs parallel to the Course.  As if the many and various challenges the course presents were not enough already, there is a lot of water to contend with here!  A pond guards the front of the green and another is situated to the rear, so you need to decide whether to lay up with perhaps a seven or eight-iron or be very bold and attack the pin.  Fall between these two options and you are trapped indeed!  At least when you finally reach the “dance floor” the surface is pretty level and shouldn’t pose too many more problems.

Each of the 9 holes, of course, has an alternative (shorter) tee which will be used if you are playing the course twice.  These shorter tees offer a somewhat different perspective on what I’ve described, but the best way to discover exactly how is to visit this delightful, peaceful and very beautiful corner of Jersey.  If you are a golfer who appreciates nature you’ll not forget the experience.

I’m off to the 10th hole golfer’s bar now to quench the thirst I’ve worked up by writing and re-reading this - it’s almost as powerful as when I’ve played this magical and testing little course! 

May all your tee-shots be straight and your putts be few!

David Rogers (Recreational Member, Wheatlands GC)